Touched by loss. Empowered through community.

You’re Only as Happy…

Monday, September 8, 2014
Posted By: 
Scott Bauer

I don’t think there has ever been a more accurate statement than “you’re only as happy as your least happy child!” Take a deep breath, clear your head, and think about this.

Undoubtedly we want the best for our children. And in this world of “helicopter parenting”, we certainly mix our own emotions about our children’s accomplishments and shortcomings. We can try and stay as even keeled as possible and exercise logic but when they show their unhappiness, worry or stress, it’s hard to stay rational. The sadness of our children makes us empathize with their problems, can cause strain in the family unit, and most of all – make us start to QUESTION OUR PARENTING ABILITY.

Even if your other kids are flourishing and all is running smoothly, their success isn’t enough to overshadow the problems of your unhappy child. Human nature makes us focus in on the negative. So what can we do? This can be difficult enough in a family that has both parents, but what about US? What can we do when WE can’t share our dismay with anyone else? How do we stay even keeled and non-emotional?

I wish I had the answer. I wish there was a resource we could all look to and say, “If your child is experiencing XYZ then this is what you do…” But we all know this resource doesn’t exist. We all have painfully learned that we must typically go through these emotions by ourselves and deal with the situation by ourselves. So what do we do?

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. Nobody knows your children better than you do. You are a GOOD PARENT, if not a GREAT PARENT. Will the pain of your unhappy child go away quickly or easily? Probably not. But stay the course. Keep the lines of communication open with them and remind them that they are not alone – YOU are there for them 24/7.

But most of all, take advantage of those minutes, hours and days when your children ARE happy. Accentuate all of the positives and cherish all of the “good times.” Because you never know when that next “hiccup” will rear its ugly head.

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