Touched by loss. Empowered through community.

The Wedding Anniversary

Monday, June 1, 2015
Posted By: 
Kris Lukas

When the blog writers schedule was released, I quickly realized that my turn would fall on this day, June 1st 2015 – what would have been our 24th wedding anniversary. I also realized that the very next day, June 2nd, my husband would have been celebrating his 50th birthday. June is a tough month.

I fondly remember when we picked our wedding date – I joked with Steve that he could never forget our anniversary since the next day was his birthday! At our wedding reception, I remember asking the DJ to play past midnight so that we could sing Happy Birthday to Steve. We did. He turned 26 that night.

For me, and perhaps for other widows/widowers, I think that one of the toughest days to get through is the wedding anniversary. Maybe it’s because it’s the only day that celebrates you and your spouse as a couple. When Steve was with us, I never expected anyone else to really remember that it was our anniversary. It was always a day ‘just for us’. Other holidays and birthdays can more easily be celebrated with family and friends. But the only other person who placed a level of importance on our anniversary is no longer around to celebrate it with me. It helps to remember that as I now move through this day without him and it becomes a very quiet, reflective day.

I also sometimes wonder what might have been different if I had known that very night that I had only 20 years to be with this man. Would I have had that in the back of my mind every day? Been nicer? Said “I love you” more? Had more children? Had less children? Spent more quality time together? Travelled a bit more?

I don’t think it matters. Our journey was our journey. I am proud of our marriage, our life, how we together were raising our children, the choices we made, and how we spent our time. I had one shot at those 20 years of my life – and I wouldn’t trade a minute. I would only ask, for more of it, and that the journey could go on together, instead of alone. In the commonality of widowhood, I’m sure you all do too.

Happy Anniversary to all of us…

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