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Trying New Things in 2016

Sunday, February 14, 2016
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This year, I'm saying yes and trying new things. In January, I took a (somewhat) spontaneous trip to Colorado, and went snowshoeing for the first time. In February, I did my first crossfit competition. In March I'll be taking part in the Polar Plunge in Lake Michigan. 

February 15th is my "sadiversary" and this year felt like time for a change in tradition there as well. 

For the past three years, one of our friends has had a Mass Intention said for JP at the church where we held his memorial service, and where we went together when we went to mass. After, everyone would come over to my house for a party - brunch or a full day of drinks and socializing, depending on the day of the week. 

This year, year 4, I decided to move away from that tradition. We go to another church, since I could no longer bear going to the one where the service was held, and I decided that I would rather do something that might resonate a bit more for my son. When my friend reached out to see what I wanted to do, I thanked him for organizing things the past few years, but told him that I was planning something a bit more private to honor JP with Max this year. 

Another friend ended up scheduling the mass intention anyway, and a few of the group will go. There is part of me that feels guilty about not being able to attend (does Catholic guilt apply here even if I'm not Catholic?) but at the same time, I'm glad that they can find comfort in this tradition and keep it going, even if it's not something that seems right for me or Max right now. We will do our thing Monday night - looking at pictures, talking about the ways in which Max is so like his Daddy.  

I'm still figuring out what our tradition will be in the long run for "sadiversaries" and I'm sure it will change when the entire month of February no longer has such a profound impact on my mental and emotional status. But I'm embracing this new approach, and hope that it will feel right, for right now, at least. 


Nice blog, Eden. You have to do what feels right. I did the same thing with a bench I had made for my husband, @ 6 months a big gathering, at 1 year, not as big of a turnout, year 2 - just me and the kids. February 26th is my four year sadiversary too. Hugs to us in what will always be a very grey month...

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