Touched by loss. Empowered through community.

Too Strong

Date: 
Monday, February 18, 2013
Posted By: 
Jodi Salata

Jodi lives in Zion with her two young sons and is in the process of starting her own life coaching business.  Like her FB page here

I consider myself an evolved person. I have been on a spiritual journey for about 4 years. I now have a daily spiritual practice and I'm learning as much as I can on the subject. Very soon after my husband died, a sense of peace washed over me like the sun breaking through the clouds. From that moment, I knew we were going to be ok. No matter what happens, if we lose everything we have, we will be ok. My beliefs about death bring me a lot of peace and comfort. As I shared my thoughts about death and my journey, I found myself in a role that terrified me--Leadership.

People came to talk to me and found peace in hearing my story. I was feeling that I didn't have enough emotional support so I co-created a widowed support group. Honestly, at no time did I ever think I would be the leader of it, but here I was, people looking to me to schedule meet-ups. I found myself loving the role and easily finding my place there, still shocked. Asking myself, " Who is this girl?" Something was coming over me.  No wait, I was breaking out of my shell. People not only listened to what I had to say but they liked it! This was a whole new situation for me. I am the youngest of 7 kids.  No one listens to me.

Then I found myself feeling like I had to be strong for everyone else. I started to think, "Well I know all these great spiritual things.  I shouldn't be sad or mad.”  The greater part of me knows that John is here with me and he is doing amazing things. The truth was, I was still hurt and struggling but was too scared to show anyone. I thought they wouldn't think I was really so strong, or that what I had to say was true. One day at group after talking about a bad day I was having, one of the other widows looked at me shocked and said, "You have bad days?" I was like “Uh, yeah. Don't we all?” I had this front going on and no one really thought I was still grieving. I realized I was being strong for everyone else and crumbling inside. I was not living authentically.

So even though I know that Death is the reward and not the punishment, and that there is no true death, it's still normal to be sad, angry, and resentful. It in no way diminishes who I am.  It actually enhances who I am. The more true I am to me, the more people can connect to me. And that is what we all crave--connection. Authentic connection. So begins a new journey for me, a journey of love and compassion towards me. Self-love and self-care is vital to our being joyful people. Taking care of yourself puts you in a better space to take care of your kids, family, and friends and to remain joyful. It's ok to be who you are, right where you are. There is freedom and peace in the acceptance of it.

Comments

Great job Jodi! Keep it coming :)

Jodi, So well said, you are amazing and I have seen the changes in you in the last 4 years and you are living true to yourself. You give light and love to everyone you meet. The world is a better place with you in it. Congrats on your new adventure of being a great "Life Coach" Thanks for being who you are! Shelly

Jodi, thank you for posting. Your choice to be a "Life Coach" is perfect. You have helped me realize the importance of finding my true self. After my husband died, I felt a piece of me also died. I admire your daily spiritual practice. Life today can be so hectic and cause us not to feel like we are in control. We can learn so many things from you! Keep being our leader!! Love you, Kathleen

I really enjoyed this and appreciated the honesty, and truth shared. Hope to make it to a get together soon.

Hi Jodie, This quote "I had this front going on and no one really thought I was still grieving. I realized I was being strong for everyone else and crumbling inside. I was not living authentically." is completely where I have been. I finally needed to take a leave from work. The fact that our nanny has left is just making things worse, but not honoring my grief is the worst. Thank you for your words. Perhaps we will meet some day. I have twin girls who are not yet four and who make grieving a very challenging thing.

My Dearest Jodi, I could write a book about how you've changed my life after having met you just over a year ago. But for now I will just thank you for your inspiring words you have shared with us and remind you How very dear to my heart you are, there are no coincidences in life, from the moment we met we Felt that & our bond grows stronger every day whether we talk or see each other that day it grows. You know I wish you the best this life has to offer to you & your boys, John is with you all always. Must.see.You.soon. Perhaps Karyn's on the Green again, we deserve it. Hugs!!!

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