Touched by loss. Empowered through community.


Monday, April 4, 2016
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Last week was 8 years from the day my life was shattered. I have now been without Robert for 8 years.  Some days my own survival seems unfathomable, yet other days, my lift moves forward as if the accident, mayhem and tragedy happened to someone else, to another family. 
Last night I was out to dinner with munchkin, my sister and brother-in-law.  Robert and my sister had a special bond.  She was the baby sister he never had, and she treated him like an additional brother--we have three already.  We were talking and laughing at dinner, and all the sudden my munchkin let out a baby burp.  It reminded me of the belching contests Robert and my sister used to have.  Those two would laugh and laugh and have fun and be silly (and for the record, Robert usually LOST to my 5 foot 2 inch sister!) In that moment, I was reminded of the laughter that we used to share, and I was reminded that even though my Munchkin doesn't remember Daddy--he was after all only ten months old--he knows nothing of being the child of two living parents. That he enjoys stories of him.   I always wait for him to ask questions, and last night he did.  It was nice to be able to have my sister share a story with him. 
I was reminded that I am not the only person that misses him.  As my sister was telling the story, her eyes misted and she then became quiet.  After a small pause we resumed our shared laughter.   As much as it pains me to see my sister sad, it is a reminder that he was loved by so many.  That he was a part of my family in all ways.  That he was loved not only as a husband, but as a child and sibling by my family.  I see the way we all treat each other, and honestly, there is little to no division between siblings and "in-laws".  We all are close.  I know how long it took Robert to be accustomed to that--he had a very small family and my siblings and extended family at times overwhelmed him with the sheer number of people.
My family in the last eight years has stepped up in ways I never could have fathomed. They are the reason that some days feel like the tragedy never happened, they have helped me see the laughter again, for that I am grateful. 


nice article Becky,

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