Touched by loss. Empowered through community.

See and Feel Good Again

Date: 
Monday, September 18, 2017
Posted By: 
Scott

See and Feel Good Again

 

“It is hard to imagine during deep grief that there will come a time when we see or feel good again. There will be and you will. We learn to live in duality...sadness and gratitude awareness, loneliness and feeling supported. Life will forever be bittersweet. An integral piece of our grief work is to get to a place where we choose to live with more sweetness than bitter.” – Jennifer Stern, LISW

I have never believed this more than over the past few weeks.  Two weeks ago I visited my youngest son who is a Freshman at the University of Colorado – Boulder.  He was 11 years old when Lauri passed away and has always felt “more cheated” than his brothers because he had the least amount of time with his Mom.  Well, I know he cherishes every memory he has and thinks about Lauri every second of every day, but I can firmly attest that his time to “see and feel good again” has come.

Last weekend I visited my middle son who is a Junior at Indiana University – Bloomington.  Lauri died literally minutes before his 14th birthday.  She passed away at 11:57pm on January 5th, 2011 and his birthday is January 6th.  Thank g-d it didn’t happen on his exact day!  Needless to say, he “changed” his birthday to July 6th all throughout high school.  But you know what?  He now celebrates his birthday on January 6th along with celebrating incredible memories of Lauri.  He too has learned to “see and feel good again.”

Yesterday I spent the day with my oldest son who is 23 and lives and works downtown.  He looks just like Lauri and overcame an extremely difficult transition when he went away to college because his mom wasn’t there to set up his dorm room, etc…  He was so depressed that he almost came home but as Lauri always taught him, he fought through and prevailed.  Just like his brothers, he too “sees and feels good again.”

Grief sucks – plain and simple.  There is no timeline to heal, to smile or to learn to live life again.  But life doesn’t stop – it continues to move forward.  Once we can navigate the ups and downs and allow ourselves to actually enjoy life again, our time to “see and feel good again” will soon be here!

Please refer to this website for daily uplifting quotes and for important information as we navigate our hell known as “GRIEF.”  www.tranformativegrief.com

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