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Oh No, It's Coming. It's Here. It's All Right.

Sunday, November 13, 2016
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Oh No, It's Coming. It's Here. It's All Right.

Today is the 8th anniversary.  It creeps up on me, yet it is there.  Each year goes by, and the day looks different.  The emotions are varied.  I do simmer and sometimes boil over with my feelings when the anniversary gets closer.  But today is the day, and I’m doing all right.


What do you do on an anniversary?  It depends on the year.  My first couple of years as a widow, I made sure I spent the anniversary with my children.  It usually involved a meal and an outing.   My late husband, Dick, loved the movies, and for a few years, we went to the movies on that day.  Then one year, my son very calmly shared with me that he wanted to do something on his dad’s birthday instead of on  the anniversary of his death.  Bravo, I thought, and we decided to celebrate his life by celebrating his birthday.  My daughter and I continued the tradition of doing a little something together on his anniversary.


But the anniversary has taken a new turn this year.  I am living in a wonderful house with my boyfriend, Tim, and we are taking on a garden renovation that is taking up a lot of our time recently.  On the anniversary, which was today, I actually spent the day outside doing some gardening as part of the renovation.  My daughter and I talked about doing something today, but the day got away from us with her doing homework and me doing the gardening.  My son was in town and we had a meal today, so that part of the tradition still held.  But Beth and I did our own thing today.  She and I talked at the end of the day, and she seemed to be okay with our choice of activities.  I marveled at the fact that I was ok with doing my own thing today, too.  Gardening was something that Dick loved, and I really feel that he was smiling down on me today, out in the sun, building a garden.  What a fitting tribute to him by me doing something I love, especially with someone I love.  He would have appreciated that.


So much growth, so much love, so much time, so much change.  I am proud of it all.  I’ve learned a lot, cried a lot, smiled a lot and maintained my hope for the future.  I keep trying to move forward.  Dick would be proud of me.  But then, I bet he already is. 



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