Touched by loss. Empowered through community.

Moving Forward (Part 2)

Date: 
Monday, September 21, 2015
Posted By: 
Scott Bauer

As many of you may have read in a past blog, I wrote about how we hopefully will get to the point of moving forward, not moving on.

I don’t believe we ever could (or should) move on – I really don’t. But, it is healthy and proper to move forward.

This obviously doesn’t come with setbacks and MANY bumps in the road. And even if we are able to move forward, how far forward? Well, I fortunately have met an incredible woman, the woman of my dreams in this new life that I lead. For the past three years we have dated, become serious and slowly introduced family to one another. She was divorced and thus comes from different circumstances than me so it HAD been a challenge to let this wonderful woman into my kids’ lives.

She could not have handled this situation with any more grace, dignity, understanding, thoughtfulness and caring than she did and my boys truly love her. I adore her kids and have always treated her situation, however different with mutual respect and concern for her kids.

Did this sometimes painstaking and challenging process move smoothly all the time? Of course not. But that is part of moving forward. Two steps forward and one step back is a heck of a lot better than one and one or none at all.

With sincere pride I must tell all of you that we recently became engaged and plan to be married next May. How did my kids handle this? I shared my feelings with them well before I asked Amy to marry me and they understood. They know how much Amy makes me happy and how good of a person she is. Will they ever call her “Mom?” Probably not, but that doesn’t matter. Nobody is ever going to replace their mother and nobody should. Amy doesn’t want that either.

The blending of families is sure to be our next challenge and undoubtedly will not come as a completely smooth road. But again, MOVE FORWARD. Whether it is two steps forward and one step back or however it shakes out, we all agree that we will move forward. None of us will ever forget, and we will still carry the pains and memories with us forever, but we will still crawl ahead at whatever speed life takes us.

I hope that this gives all of you the hope and encouragement that your lives can be “normal” and “good” again. Will it ever be the same – no! Can it be good or great – ABSOLUTELY.

Comments

Congratulations, Scott! We all deserve to find some happiness again - and you do give us hope.

How exciting! Bravo to your next steps!

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