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Moving Forward

Monday, March 19, 2018
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Moving Forward

I cherish every moment I had with my late husband.  We met on a cold morning in January 1984 and he died on a cold day in November 2008.  That was 24 years together, never a small amount of time.  In the last 9 ½ years, I have had to go through so many firsts without him:  high school and college graduations of our children, graduate school graduation for me, and house selling and purchasing.  All these big life events are ones he would have truly celebrated with us.  I know that in my heart as sure as I know myself.


But life has moved forward, and I’m doing that as well.  My therapist has called it “moving through the memories.”  Some memories can wear me down, and some memories have lifted me up.  In the beginning of my grief, it was all that I could do to go to work and come home again.  I plodded through my life one day at a time.  I clung onto my children, hopeful that they would want to move forward in their lives.  Sometimes they took 2 steps forward and 1 step back.  I did the same.


But we moved forward as best as we knew how.  Now I have a wonderful partner and fiancée, Tim, and my son has his fiancée, Amanda.  My daughter Beth has settled into a wonderful long-term relationship with her boyfriend Jack.  We have come a very long way in 9 ½ years.  Dick wouldn’t recognize us, yet I somehow believe he is aware of it and smiling about it.  Our son is planning a wedding, and that is when I say that I wish Dick were here.  As happy as I am in my new life, I miss the fact that Dick won’t see our son get married.  It will be another event that he will miss.  On that day, I’m sure I will move through the memory.  It’s all I can do, and if I do it with a happy heart and in the spirit of moving forward, it will not be in vain.

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