Touched by loss. Empowered through community.

Love is in the Air

Date: 
Monday, February 10, 2014
Posted By: 
Jodi

Love is in the air.  A painful reminder of what’s not here.   Walk into any store these days and what is meant to pull at my wallet pulls at my heart.   I miss having someone to be my Valentine.  There are days when I feel so full of love to give but no one to give it to.  There are times when I crave a partner--someone to invest in and enjoy the rewards of a loving relationship. 

I had a great marriage.  We loved each other immensely.   We knew we were meant to be--soul mates for sure.  Losing him was a painful and beautiful journey of death and rebirth.  Ironically, the best year of our marriage was our last.  The year of miracles, I call it.  He wasn’t ill.  We had no signs.  No warnings.  Vibrant and alive one day and transitioned the next.   This is not where I want my love story to end.

I know that there’s another great love for me.  I look forward to finding him.  I know I can have it again.  If it can happen once, it can absolutely happen again.  I’ll never settle for less than amazing.  No one is John; I don’t need or want them to be.  I’m not the same girl that married him.  She died the same day he did.  I know that within the universe there is an unending supply of love and all I have to do is believe and trust.  Life is too short.  I want to enjoy each moment of breath I am gifted. 

Instead of trying to find a man to invest myself into, this holiday I’m holding myself as my object of affection.  I can give myself the love I crave.  Time to stop looking for outside sources to fill me up.  When I do that, I can feel the love that surrounds me.   I have many outlets to invest my love into: my kids, my family and my friends.  It’s not the same as romantic love but when I am loving, happy and whole, I will attract a loving, happy and whole partner.    “You do not attract what you want.  You attract who you are.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer

So as Valentines Day is fast approaching and sending most of us into hiding, keep your heart open to the love that is around you, romantic or otherwise.  Go out and live life.  Taste it, not just for you but also for your spouse who can’t.  Do something you’ve always wanted to.  Heal, grow, learn and watch all the amazing things that come into your life. 

Comments

Jodi, I always feel positive energy after I read your blog submissions! Loving ourselves first can only bring positive results to the rest of our lives. You are in your second act. I know there will be a second love as well in your horizon.

Jodi, what beautiful words and sentiments. I totally agree and have had a big change in attitude about this very issue. Getting to know me for the person I am and have become since Dave's death has been a painful, exhaustive but rewarding experience. I too have watched others express their love in ways I only wish Dave and I had been able to do. But the take away from those moments of longing are a sense of peace that there is a plan, path and purpose for all of this. My job is to be awake for and open to the experiences. I have decided to date only myself. I go to concerts, plays and excursions by myself and feel completely at peace with it. In fact, when my mother said to me recently "How can you go to the symphony by yourself?!", I realized that it is to avoid ever saying that or feeling that way. I am terrific alone and perhaps someday I can be a terrific couple again.

Your sharing will help many heal. Your a brave woman and the lucky ones are those who love you and that one that has yet to be loved. Happy Valentine's Day Jodi. Be kind to yourself, you are deserving. xoxo

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