Touched by loss. Empowered through community.

Letting Go

Date: 
Monday, June 2, 2014
Posted By: 
Jodi Salata

Life is a constant process of letting go.  Happiness can be measured by our ease of accepting and adapting to change.  As a member of the widowed community, I think we know this all too well. 

Little bit by little bit or enormous chunks at a time we come face to face with the constant process of letting go.  For some like me it started slowly.  A picture gets moved or changed. Then, a new bedding set.  Finally working up to packing away his things from the closet and only keeping out a few very special things.  Some are bittersweet like giving my stepson his father’s truck.  Every time it's a process of grieving and letting go, a little death to our heart.

This acceptance and letting go isn't the end of the story thankfully.  Accepting and allowing change to flow in and out of our lives creates an awakening, a rebirthing of new possibilities. 

Our old lives will never cease to be.  We can't and won't forget or sweep it under the rug.  It shaped us but we don't live there anymore.  Holding onto the way things used to be can keep us stuck and stagnate.  Life is meant to be lived.  Our loved ones would want us to keep on living.  I see it as a way to honor my husband.

I'm 4 years out and in the process of selling our home. The home we built together, made a family and a life in.  It made me realize this continual process of letting go.  Some have to face these huge changes quickly and some over time but none are easy.  Allowing myself time to get used to ideas has been a gift I've been able to give myself.  I've been thinking of selling my house for over a year.  I'd dip my toe in that water and take it out. Then try again later before I knew it I standing in the water.  I was looking at houses, checking out neighborhoods, dreaming of where to live next.  As I look back I realize many of my changes happened in this same manner; taking off my wedding rings, cleaning his stuff out of the closet.  I took my time and allowed myself to get used to the idea of it so that when I finally did it I was ready.   It wasn’t outside pressure or some idea of what I was supposed to be to doing that promoted these changes, it was my decision and my process.

This is your journey. Allow yourself to walk it the way you need to. There is no right or wrong about it, it just is. I believe it's a sacred journey never to be hurried or rushed.

Comments

Love this Jodi - you also have a gift of writing, my friend! Speaks volumes - great advice.

Add new comment