Touched by loss. Empowered through community.


Monday, November 26, 2012
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My cell phone just died….

I wouldn’t be caught dead in that outfit….

I’m dying to meet that cute guy (or girl)……

The batteries in the remote are dead….

I’m assuming that many of you have used one of these sentences above.  I never realized how many times we throw around the word “dead” or some variation of it.  It is a common description used as a part of our everyday life.  But after my husband passed away, I became so sensitive to hearing this word used without any significant meaning behind it.  People would just toss around the word “die” without realizing the true meaning and magnitude of the word.

When someone would flippantly say something like: “My flowers are dead”, I would cringe.  I almost wanted to yell: “Who cares about your stupid flowers, my husband is DEAD!”  Couldn’t they see how fragile life is and how quickly things can change?  Didn’t they realize the true basic meaning of this word is about people, not inanimate objects?  Couldn’t they understand that death is a huge, life-changing event?  How could they throw around this word so flippantly?  

Then I realized that I was focusing too much on the word itself.  Die.  It’s just a word.  Yes, it has significant meaning but I am the one who was overanalyzing and being overly sensitive to this word.  Most of the people around me who were using this word had no idea what had happened to me – why should I blame them about using this word which is so common these days?  Even though Joe’s death ripped a hole in my life (and my heart), being angry over the common use of this word was not going to bring him back.  It was just turning me into a resentful, negative person.  I should focus my energies away from anger and, instead, focus on positive things, like slowly rebuilding my life and dealing with my grief (and maybe anger issues). 

I don’t cringe any more when I hear “die” used in every day discussions but I have avoided saying this word myself.  My new favorite word is “kaput” as in, “My dishwasher has finally gone kaput”.   Hopefully, when I call the repair place today, they will understand that I mean it has died.


Wow! This was soooo me! I just recently started saying the "dead/die" word again. My husband's been gone 3 years. Interesting how words take on a new meaning...Thanks for sharing!

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