Touched by loss. Empowered through community.

Just a Happy Coincidence?

Date: 
Monday, January 23, 2012
Posted By: 
Susan

I tend to be one of those of people who think that all things happen for a reason.  I may not understand the reason when it happens but I think that there is divine timing to everything.  The events that occurred before my husband died help to reaffirm this belief.

As a young married couple, my husband, Joe, and I lived in Chicago and enjoyed the city life.  After we had kids, we decided it was time to move to the suburbs for the typical bigger house, nice backyard and better schools.  I was also looking to switch jobs as I didn’t feel like my current employer was financially stable. 

After some house shopping, we found a great home in Glenview in a great school district and moved in 2006.  After many, many months of job searching, I found a position at a great company located just 10 minutes from my house.  I was very happy to be at a stable company and felt very lucky to have found such a good job and to be close to home. 

Shortly after that, my brother-in-law loses his job, has many other setbacks and then loses their house.  My 16-year-old niece is trying to attend high school while living with her parents in a motel.  So Joe and I offer to have her live with us so that she can transfer to the local Glenview high school and have a more balanced home life.  She moves in with us and transfers to our high school, and also becomes our afterschool nanny, picking up the kids from school and helping them with their homework.

All of these pieces fall into place – but I wouldn’t call them pieces of a puzzle, I would call them support beams.  Support that God put into place in my life because He knew that I would need them.  He provided a stable job close to my house, a great school for my kids, and my very mature niece living with me - because God knew that Joe would pass away on November 28th, on Thanksgiving, in 2008.

So here I am – a widow at 42 years old, wondering how I am going to cope.  I feel lucky that I have the stability around me to support me while I grieve and try to cope.  But finally I realize that it wasn’t luck, but it was God’s timing that put all of these things in place for me before Joe died.  I did not have to worry about losing my job especially since I was now the sole provider.  I did not have to worry about the afterschool care of my kids since I had my niece as a live-in nanny.  God knew that I would be a wreck emotionally so He simplified other parts of my life so that I could better handle the grief and internal storm of emotions.  God knew that this was going to happen to Joe so He prepared my home for me before it happened. 

Don’t get me wrong – this really sucks.  I never say that I am happy to be in this situation, but I know that there are better days ahead.  I do not understand why Joe died at 44 years young but I do understand that God had specific timing for all of these things to fall into place before this happened.

I read a quote recently by C.S. Lewis:  “The truth is, what we call interruptions, are precisely our real life, the life God is sending us day by day.”

Now more than ever, I appreciate the things that God has provided for me – the life that He keeps sending me day by day as my story continues to be written.

Comments

There are couple things that really stick out..."He simplified other parts of my life so that I could better handle the grief and internal storm of emotions" is a powerful statement with such a positive sentiment and "I appreciate the things that God has provided for me – the life that He keeps sending me day by day as my story continues to be written." I was just saying to my widow friends that is the funny thing about life is you never know what to expect next. Susan, you have great perspective! Keep writing for us!

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