Touched by loss. Empowered through community.

Just Breathe

Monday, February 6, 2017
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Just Breathe

My husband Steve passed away unexpectedly and tragically a little over two years ago.  At that time, I needed to take over the business he founded.  I hit the ground running: managing the business, taking care of our 3 daughters and trying to figure out how to manage life alone and oh yeah, grieving.  I have felt like the last two and a half years were a marathon and I was running out of steam.  

I wasn’t taking care of my physical health.  I felt like I didn’t have time.  I knew I was gaining weight, I was exhausted, I started having acid reflux, my heart was literally skipping beats.  Something had to change and I needed to take control of me again.  But how and when was I going to do that?  Sitting down to a family meal was a priority for us in our past life, but cooking fell by the wayside.  I finally knew that I had hit rock bottom when my daughter said to me “wow mom, I didn’t know there were microwavable meals”!  I made a conscious choice to make myself a priority.  I have started exercising regularly again, cooking fresh meals and making eating clean a priority.  I have to say my whole outlook has changed.  I am sleeping better, feel more mentally alert and as a benefit have lost some weight too.

This brings me to “Just Breathe”  That is my new mantra.  For me it means to slow down, enjoy the present, be calm and take one moment and one day at a time.  I even bought an art piece for my bedroom as a reminder so it the first and last thing I see each day.  

Last week, I was able to execute the sale of our business.  This was both the right decision for the business moving forward but also for me personally.  It does feel like I have lost another part of Steve again, but I know that he would want me to take care of myself and our daughters.  I also know he would have been proud.  The business was our baby and our second family, but primarily his dream.  Now it is time for me to figure out what my dream is.  I finally have some space to just breathe and it’s scary and exciting.  I loved the path that I was on with my husband, but now I have the opportunity to create a new path.  What do I want to do professionally, what new hobbies and activities do I want to try, what about all the books that I have wanted to read, classes to take, not for profits to volunteer for?   I don’t know where it will lead me, but I will continue to work to make myself a priority and all along the way I will “Just Breathe”.

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