Touched by loss. Empowered through community.

Just Another Day

Date: 
Monday, April 29, 2013
Posted By: 
Scott Bauer

Today is Monday, April 29th.  Is this day any different than all the others?  Three days from today is one of my son’s birthdays.  Four days from today would have been my 21st Wedding Anniversary.  Twelve days from today is Mother’s Day.  16 days from today would have been my wife’s 46th birthday.  So is today just another day?

I can emphatically say, “YES.”  Grief, loss, despair, anxiety, fear and sadness have no idea what day it is.  Those words and feelings are with us every day, regardless what day the calendar says.  So why is today, Monday, April 29th any different? 

  • Because today, I would have loved you more than yesterday but less than tomorrow. 
  • Because I miss you more today than I did yesterday but not as much as tomorrow. 
  • Because my grief is still raw, but not as bad as it was yesterday. 
  • Because my despair over my loss is not as bad as it was yesterday and is more than it will be tomorrow. 
  • Because my fear of living without you is just a little less than it was yesterday but a bit more than it will be tomorrow. 
  • Because my sadness over our lives together getting cut short is just as intense as it was yesterday and probably the same as it will be tomorrow.

So what does this indecision tell me?  That each and every day is a new day, with new challenges, new beginnings and new reflections.  Does it really matter what day it is or what holiday it is?  The sun is going to rise in the east tomorrow and set in the west.  In exactly 24 hours from now will it matter that the calendar says it is a new day? 

None of us want to be in this position.  This is not what we “signed up” for.  But, we have an important decision to make.  Face the new day, regardless what the calendar says and tackle it head on.  Or bury our heads in the sand and hope that we can turn back the calendar to days gone by.  Since we can never relive yesterday, put your best foot forward, smile, and say – “Today is a new day.  What can I do to make this a better day then yesterday?”

Comments

Excellent Blog. You're right, "today is a new day" and we know that life is too short and we must enjoy and savor every minute we can!

As I have gone through this grief process and am approaching my 3rd year since my husband died what I have been surprised by is the moments that would seem innocent that can hit the hardest. I think we "prepare" ourselves for the big moments and forget that it is the small things that we miss the most in the end and hurt the most. I just didn't realize and I don't think any of us could...

As I'm in my third year of the sudden loss of my husband, everything I read above is so true. The "big" things, the "little" things", I guess, all the "things"... and every day is different but I do know it feels good to laugh again, something I never thought possible three years ago. Support and especially, empathy and understanding is so much the key to help us all through this journey. Thank you to everyone and thank you, Scott!

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