Touched by loss. Empowered through community.

It Will Never Leave You

Tuesday, October 4, 2016
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It Will Never Leave You
I had an experience not too long ago that I know you all can relate to.  I went to the wake of an old friend whose husband passed away unexpectedly.  He was in his early 50’s and died of a massive heart attack.  When I heard the news, I was shocked.  They were old friends of mine and my late husband’s, and we enjoyed laughs together many years ago.  So, when I heard the news, I knew I had to go to the wake.  
I walked into the same funeral home that hosted my late husband’s wake.  I saw the picture boards, the coffin, the children standing next to their newly widowed mother.  It was such a strange feeling, yet it felt eerily familiar.  I comforted her the best way I knew how, and she looked at me and said those poignant words:  “I know you understand what I am going through.”  “I do,” I told her.  In that moment, I meant it too.
I promised that I would be in touch and that if she needed anything, she need only to reach out and ask.  I have reached out once to her, and I have some sense that she is having a lot of people comfort her from many walks of her life.  I even went to my little “library” of grieving books and grabbed a couple that I believe she could use and look over.  They are sitting in the trunk of my car, ready to be shared when she is ready.  When she is ready, I’ll share our wonderful organization with her as well.  
That feeling of being the widower or the widow will never leave me.  I have a little bit of a sense of where she is and possibly where she might be in a few months’ time or even a year or two out.  The feeling of being strong for your kids while your heart breaks.  The feeling of going out in public and trying to put one foot in front of the other.  The feeling of struggling to understand everything that has happened and why it hurts so much.  All those feelings thrown at you.  It will never leave me.  
So, if I can be there for others, I know this widow experience hasn’t been in vain.  Thanks to all of you in this organization, it won’t be in vain on a grander scale.  

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