Touched by loss. Empowered through community.

Happier Birthday

Monday, December 15, 2014
Posted By: 
Dora Bussey

My birthday was earlier this month. When I woke up, that morning I realized it was 5 years ago that Brian and I went on a beach vacation for my birthday. We went to Atlantis in the Bahamas. We had asked a bunch of other couples to go with us to celebrate my 40th but timing wasn't good for most people with the holidays. This was our first "no kids" trip together. We had an incredible time. We really reconnected as a couple. We had a pretty unsettled life for a couple years. And, this trip melted away all the stress and I realized how much I loved him and how much fun we have together. We got the chance to step out of our everyday lives and experience paradise together even if it was just for four days. I look at the pictures from that trip and it reminds me of how happy we were. We were truly present in the moment.

I had no idea that 3 months later he would suddenly die. I feel like that the trip was part of life's plan. I am so grateful that we were able to have that opportunity to be alone together, rediscover our fun selves and reaffirm our relationship.

I am thankful everyday for all the adventures we had together. This birthday and the holidays remind me of how lucky I am to have had Brian in my life. Although the pain of loss still lingers, the memories of our love and life together -the strong foundation we built over 18 years- make the hurt more bearable as time passes. With every year that goes by, my birthdays are becoming "happy birthdays" again.

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