Touched by loss. Empowered through community.

Dear Our Family Home,

Monday, October 2, 2017
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Many of us have sold our homes. This huge undertaking can be stressful to the best of us, but as widows it also creates a massive deluge of emotions for us to process. I thought I would share a few of mine.

Dear Our Family Home,

You look fabulous! Years younger! Better than you’ve ever looked! Fresh paint, new carpets and the list of ‘I need to do that’ is finally complete.  You have a big for sale sign in your yard and strangers are now walking through your rooms to pass judgement on you.

The scratch on the wall where we banged the couch moving in has been repaired.  The carpet where the red Gatorade made a splash has been replaced. Your rooms are now silent, and empty. The days of my crying babies, our laughter at the dinner table, two barking dogs, the doorbell announcing a friend’s arrival are memories past.   

 I’m so very sorry.  I didn’t tell you. Your family is moving out.

We were together for 20 years. You kept us safe and warm and dry. You watched my oldest take her first steps in the family room and welcomed two more newborn bundles over the years. Those bundles are now teenagers and they are moving off to college.

You welcomed our Lucky dog and then our Joker puppy. When we told them to ‘go home’ it was to you they ran.

You were more than a house, you were ‘home’ to all of us. You were the place our family lived and grew together. We had some wonderful times with you: birthday parties, Christmas gatherings, baptisms, graduations, nightly family dinners.  You also saw us at our lowest points. You probably remember the day when only four of us came back, and the days we paced through your rooms, in a senseless fog, wondering what to do, crying ourselves to sleep. You were always there for us. It was ‘life’ that wasn’t so kind.

I will never forget you. I will never forget the way my husband looked at you when the ambulance came that day.  He knew then that he would never see you again.

Don’t worry, we are not leaving you yet. My girls will come and say goodbye before they leave for college. I will come on the day before closing and sit with you. Probably for a very long time. Do not feel betrayed. You will know then how very much we Ioved you and all you meant to our family.

Our new home is wonderful and we are beginning a new chapter. It is exciting and I am happy. But, you will always hold a very special place in my heart and you will always be a very large definition of the word ‘home’ for me and my children.

Go on and be a ‘home’ for a new family. Keep them safe and warm and dry. Be the place where they can tell the story of their family.  And know that you will always be special to us.

With love,

Your Family of 20 years


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