Touched by loss. Empowered through community.

Dating 101

Monday, August 25, 2014
Posted By: 
Jodi Salata

I’m sitting in my car waiting to go in. I’m nervous and sweating. Thoughts are running through my head, “Is he here?” “Will he like me?” More importantly, “Will I like him?” I laugh at my silliness. It’s just another great adventure since my husband died. Dating.

I never really dated before I met my husband or at least nothing like dating is to me now. I believe this situation is like everything else; it is what you make it. I could easily get down about being in this situation. I could it take personally every time I didn’t get a call back or someone didn’t answer my text but the one thing I’ve learned from this dating adventure is not to take anything personally.

There have been some moments of serious sadness and anger that I’m out in the dating world. Moments that made me crave my husband and the wonderful relationship we had. I loved being married. My husband and I would go out, and I would watch the single people trying to navigate the dating world. I would hug him and tell him how much I appreciate him and our marriage. I was always so grateful for finding him, but now I find myself in the shoes of the person I never wanted to be. Learning the rules of how to navigate this strange foreign land. It sucks when you like someone and they never want to see you again. The hurt that comes up with disappointment allows me to continue to heal the pain of my loss. It hurts when a guy doesn’t return your call. It’s really challenging trying to figure how to tell someone you’re just not that into him but it is all just apart of life. Some parts are fun and exciting but others are challenging and painful, but all of it is a process of growing as a person. I’ve learned to have strong boundaries and how to be more confident. I stand firm in what I want and don’t want. I also understand that it’s ok to ask for what I want; I’m worthy of it.

So whether you are only thinking about it or starting to dip your toe into the dating world be easy about it. When you’re ready, give it a try. At the very least, you’ll have some funny stories to tell.


What a great submission. I can tell it is straight from your heart. Growth can hurt sometimes. Thanks for speaking to that and also showing hope and life goes on. We all have to at least try to go on. Wonderful job, Wendy.

It's easy. If you have to try, it's not right. I suck at it. But I'm really good at giving advice. Have fun.

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