Touched by loss. Empowered through community.

Chances in Health

Date: 
Monday, January 29, 2018
Posted By: 
Gerry

Chances in Health

 

What does illness look like to me, now that I have been a widow for 9 years now?  It depends on the illness, doesn’t it?  A cold:  inconvenient.  The flu:  really inconvenient.  A cancer diagnosis:  a first for me.

First some facts:  I had a diagnosis of Stage 1 breast cancer last year.  It was found through a regular screening mammogram that showed a gray area.  My anniversary of the diagnosis is coming up next month.    I went through treatment through the spring and summer last year and have been slowly gaining my strength and resilience this past fall and winter. 

The support I’ve received from my children, Tim, my partner/housemate, my sister, work colleagues, and friends is immeasurable.  What an experience it has been.  I have learned a lot about cancer and the journey I have been on, at least in a physical sense.  I am realizing how lucky I am to have received a diagnosis so early on with a great chance to work through treatment and to be given a second chance with my health.

But as I worked through the physical parts of cancer, the emotions come to the surface.  How am I leaving this Earth?  When will it happen?  How will my adult children handle it?  The loss of their father is something that I don’t wish on anyone.  I assume that when I die, they will be able to handle it a different way, given the years that have passed.

I am wrestling with control right now.  Going through cancer has made me grateful, but it has also made me think.  What is my best life?  How do I live it?  I know better than to take things for granted, and my experience last year really cemented that for me.  I am here for a short time.  Try to live my life as the best version of it.  That’s all I can do.

 

 

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