Touched by loss. Empowered through community.

Can I Get A Testify?

Monday, May 7, 2012
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I’m driving to work and I’m going to be late.  I’m running late, because it seems the chaos fairy came during breakfast and sprinkled dust all over my children.  Shoes are hidden better than the Easter Eggs, Molly decides to change back into her pajamas, and homework folders that I swear were in their bags last night, are now missing.

As I sit at an extra long traffic light – extra long because all lights seem long when running late – I’m on the verge of a pity party bemoaning my life as an only parent, a lonely parent, an overwhelmed parent.

I stop myself from throwing that pity party.  I remind myself that everyone has challenges in life.  I’m not going to tell my boss I’m late because my life is difficult. I’m simply late.  “Keep it to yourself,” I say, out loud.

But as the light turns green and I wait for the cars ahead of me to go – why won’t you go, you slow cars ahead of me – I think of my fellow widow and widower friends who also may be having a rough start to the day.  They get it. They understand.  As my car finally moves into traffic, I do decide to throw myself that pity party.  In my mind, I have invited all of you who are feeling the same pain and logistical problems those who are married don’t have to deal with on a daily basis.

So for whatever it’s worth, I hear you.  I feel your pain.  And if you ever want to tell yourself that you do have more challenges than others and you too want your very own pity party, please invite me. Tell yourself, “My day sucks and Matt gets it. He hears me.”

Because every day I try to do my best to live by everyone else’s rules. I try and blend in with all the married couples and avoid discussions of the challenges of raising kids by myself.  But some days I want to feel put out and I think of all of you.  Screw it! We’re allowed to party every now and again.  Wasn’t it the Beastie Boys who famously sang, “You have to fight, for your right, to pity paarrrty?”


I get it too! Well said.

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