Touched by loss. Empowered through community.

Breaking Up Doesn't Have To Be Hard To Do

Date: 
Monday, March 21, 2016
Posted By: 
Eden
Breaking Up Doesn't Have To Be Hard To Do
 
Since being widowed, I have dated two people. The first was, in retrospect, bound to end badly. He needed too much, and I never got past the fact that we started dating too soon. I still had too much healing to do before I could really be there for another emotionally. 
 
And then I met someone who, on paper, seemed like the ideal match for me. Lived close by, incredibly grounded and practical, and he was a widower. With 4 kids. Amazing dad, someone I could talk to about JP who really got it, and who understood the whole only parent thing. Sure, we were different, but we always had a good time talking and hanging out. However, after a while, it became clear that good on paper does not a perfect match make. We just weren't right for each other. 
 
I hate any sort of confrontation. And probably would have let it go on for months (years?) too long, as I had with my first relationship. But luckily this guy's pragmatic nature didn't allow that to happen. We had the easiest, most amicable breakup ever. We will still be friends, and I truly believe it was no mistake that the universe brought him into my life. It just wasn't meant to be a romance. 
 
I don't know if I'll end up marrying again, but surely I will date. And I hope that if the need to break up comes up again, as it likely will, I'll be able to take a lesson from this. As widows and widowers, we have experienced one of the most painful life events possible, and while I'm sure I'm not the only one with a fear of any kind of loss now, break ups do not actually have to rank up there with things that cause mountains of stress. Wishful thinking or a great lesson learned? I guess only time will tell. 

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