Touched by loss. Empowered through community.

The Best of Times After the Worst of Times

Date: 
Thursday, May 11, 2017
Posted By: 
Gerry

The Best of Times After

The Worst of Times

 

The moments of grief come and go.  I once read that grief feels like a wave sometimes, coming up on the shore.  The wave comes up and that wave would be a feeling, a moment, when I would get overwhelmed with life.  I would feel it physically and emotionally.  Then the wave of grief, once up on the shore, would then slide back down the shore, retreating as quickly as it came.  The physical and emotional sensations would be sneaky on their arrival and equally as sneaky on their exit.  I will never forget those sensations, how quickly they came and went.

 

But timing is everything in this business of grief.  I truly believe that for every moment of grief I have felt, I also have felt a moment of joy in this journey.  Grief and joy and how they are intertwined have been on my mind lately.  Here is why.  My younger child, my daughter Beth, graduated from college this past weekend.  She had a great many wonderful experiences in her learning while at school, and while there were ups and downs, she graduated with honors.  When my late husband, Dick, died almost 9 years ago, one of my first moments of grief was “How am I going to get 2 kids through college?”  I’ve been thinking a lot about that grief moment lately.  It felt in a panic, said in a whisper, with that shortness of breath that always came with those first full feelings of grief.  I didn’t think I would be able to do it.  It was impossible.   There was no way I could handle that. 

 

But I did, and I didn’t do it alone.  There is the joy:  lots of help, hope, heart, support, interventions, prayers all pulled together to help both my children graduate from college.  It wasn’t an I effort.  It was a we effort.  My kids and I learned a lot along the way.  I had fantastic support from my family and from my boyfriend, Tim.  I hope we have shared it out with others.  For that initial grief moment, I am now having a joy moment.  2 kids graduated from college.  What an accomplishment.  What a story.

 

From that moment of grief to this moment of joy.  This is my journey.  It continues.  It always will.  Will I like all the lessons?  No.  Will they stop?  No.  Will I keep learning?  I certainly hope so.  

 

Keep finding your joy, especially if it comes after the wave of grief.

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